No Silver, this isnt like your asshole rant, cause you are an asshole. But I love you!I am 29 years old. For my entire life I have lived with another person. Whether it be with my parents, my college roommates, or random strangers throughout the years; there has not been a moment that I haven't had someone else living in my natural abode. Due to this fact I have had extensive experience with various personality types, conflict negotiation, and friendship bonding's. But ultimately all these living arrangements have ended up with me wanting to take a shovel to my roommates head and abandon them to the world without looking back. Am I an asshole? No, not particularly. In fact I think I am an extremely easygoing, likable person these days. But then certain people bring out a side of me that I thought I killed years ago, a side of me from my younger days where on the drop of a dime I would turn into a pissed off animal, and more likely than not punch you in the face. No, I was never a hardass or a complete asshole. But without a seconds hesitation if I was disrespected or a friend on mine was disrespected it wouldn't end in a verbal compromise, but rather a full fledged fight. This was the way it was where I grew up.
Not so long ago, in a galaxy close close to home, I was a very different person than I am today. I had a whole different life. I had a different perspective on the world and a VERY different social life. I moved to Arizona 6 years ago from Michigan. I left a state that was in serious decline long before the current situation that our entire country faces today. I left to start a new life in a place where everything was fresh, where jobs and new companies were forming every week, and opportunities were everywhere. It was the hardest decision I ever made because I was leaving behind everyone I had ever known. All of my closest friends whom I had known since the 6th grade, and everyone I had met throughout the following years I left behind with the sad realization that this was what was best for me in the long run. The early years I lived here in Arizona were exciting, refreshing, and entertaining. But professionally I wasn't gaining any ground. I spent a lot more time bar hopping and drinking than I did working, which ultimately led me to a path where I had to give up alcohol completely. It was around this time that I became an online gamer. It provided a safe, fun, (more often than not) friendly atmosphere for me to spend time, away from bars and generally away from trouble.
Why this brief history of my past, and what does it have to do with what I was saying about roommates? Well, after I gave up drinking I started to become another person. One that became a lot more easy-going, less aggressive, and passive. Ultimately my personality has never changed, but my temperament has. Which has led certain people to react to me in ways that they wouldnt even contemplate had they met me in my earlier years. When I say that I dont mean that I get "walked-on", but I let things go in order to maintain peace which ultimately has led others to act differently than they would with someone who was more abrasive.
I bring this up because my current roommate has awakened that part of me that I had buried years ago through his disrespect, sloppiness, and utter inconsideration of the fact that he lives with someone else. It was because of my amicable "whatever" attitude that this person felt he could do whatever he pleased without any repercussions from me because I was just a pushover. But he misinterpreted my attempt at being nice and friendly with weakness and someone who would be easily manipulated. It wasn't until I lost my cool and went completely apeshit on him that he finally stopped his bullshit. Its pretty ridiculous that someone needs to be a complete prick in order to get a point across, but ultimately that is what some people need. The lesson I have learned through this is that even the side of you that you dislike has its uses and necessity, and while I dont intend to become that person on a full time basis, it is a weapon that I will keep at my side because frankly in more cases than not its better to be an asshole than it is to be a nice guy. So fuck you, but have a nice day.
